Positivity Cont.
I had an epiphany last night after posting the article on the benefits of a positive attitude. I think I am a walking example of someone who faced significant obstacles that appeared insurmountable and overcame them with the help of a positive attitude, among other things.
About me: I’m 35-years-old, have two healthy children ages 8 and 5, two dogs and two cats. My husband and I will celebrate our tenth year of marriage this Nov and our 14th year together in January. My husband has worked as an RCMP officer (notice the shift in language there) for the past 12 years. His job is both fulfilling and incredibly demanding, requiring significant sacrifice from the whole family unit.
In 2007 I graduated from the University of Ottawa with a degree in Social Sciences, concentration criminology and a focus in psychology. In 2015 I started my graduate studies, online, through Yorkville University and successfully completed the program with a 4.06 GPA in 2018. My kids were one and three when I started.
When I was 19, attending U of O, I was involved in a really bad motor vehicle collision. The driver of my vehicle (my friend) and myself were traveling home for Christmas from Ottawa to Thunder Bay when we were hit head-on, on the highway a few kilometers outside North Bay, Ontario. My friend sustained unimaginable physical injuries that ultimately changed her career pursuits and her life forever. I lost consciousness, was airlifted to Sudbury Ontario where I was in a coma for 17 days. My original glaucoma scale rating was four – really bad (for more information on glaucoma scales and their ratings go here;
https://www.brainline.org/article/what-glasgow-coma-scale).
After I woke up and was deemed stable, I went to the emerg. in Thunder Bay for another few days. After that, I was transferred to Thunder Bays St. Josephs rehab hospital for ten weeks of in-patient rehab therapy followed by 8 weeks of out-patient.
I have lots of intermittent memories and I’m not always sure what are my memories and what are borrowed or implanted from others sharing stories and experiences with me. It’s very interesting (for more information on memories go here: https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/false-memories-tricks-of-the-mind/). I don’t remember much of the four months before the accident and it’s only later in my rehab stay that I believe I have my own actual memories. I suppose I can’t really be sure about that either haha!
I remember feeling like I was ok, I knew deep down everything would work out despite the piles of tests and valid medical research that said the opposite. I had two broken ankles and a broken brain. I could appreciate that my doctors, nurses and rehab specialists were just doing what they thought was right (based on their doctor degrees!), so I went along with their request, not wanting to offend them and let them know they were wrong about me. For whatever reason I didn’t feel sad for myself and I didn’t hate being at the hospital. I really believed it was short-term and I would be back to living, learning and achieving in no time. I was a competitive athlete prior to my injuries, and I looked forward to returning to my team.
I definitely experienced memory impairments and whole wack of physical chronic pain. I had to employ different tools and strategies to make sure I kept my shit straight. As I reflect, I think it was my positive attitude that allowed me to remain open and flexible to finding solutions and helping me again and again rise to the challenges in front of me.
I became a very hardy individual. In general, I saw my recovery as a challenge. My doctors told me to adjust my expectation, that I should accept that returning to University to complete my degree and living independently was not likely to happen, Challenge accepted.
In-terms of adopting a playful attitude, I had almost died. My life as it was changed significantly, and my future was mostly uncertain. I was much better at handling everyday frustrations and disappointments because I had lived through the worst. As Stephanie Conn (2020) describes asking her clients, “how many days of your life have you not survived” despite all the hard things we go through? I knew I could walk it off.
Despite the traumatic nature of my injuries, I don’t remember not being happy, optimistic and hopeful. I enjoyed playing cards with my dad every day in the hospital. I felt cared for a supported by my entire rehab team (Neurologist, Occupational, Speech and Memory, Physical, Psychological and even Recreational). Now looking back, I believe my experience makes me a better therapist. In so many ways, when I empathise with the experiences of others, I really do get it. I was in a position where I had every reason to be hopeless, depressed and broken. Except I wasn’t. I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t have the life I have today had I not gone through that and so I find myself grateful for the support of others, for the care I received in hospital and from family and friends. The things that didn’t kill me did make me stronger.
Thanks for sticking with me!
Mandy Fudge MA., RCC.
Island Elements Counselling